


이 순간 잡아

by loosenoodlepoodledoodle



Series: Adoration of LOONA [4]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Form of Therapy, LGBTQ Themes, Romance, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosenoodlepoodledoodle/pseuds/loosenoodlepoodledoodle
Summary: PD, of Form of Therapy fame, is invited to Korea to film a special short film featuring LOONA! Hurray!
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Series: Adoration of LOONA [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672402
Kudos: 9





	이 순간 잡아

**Author's Note:**

> Note that in the "About" section of the Form of Therapy YouTube Channel, there is some clarification of pronoun use. I tried to follow this, which is why I used singular they/them when referring to PD. Apologies to PD if I messed up at some point.
> 
> (https://www.youtube.com/user/FOTmedia/about)

_“We want to keep this confidential until the last possible moment.”_

PD sat alone late at night, bleary-eyed, at the new Form of Therapy office. The memory of the phone conversation remained fresh, even hours later.

_“We want to try something of our own making, and you’re our first choice. Maybe even our only real choice.”_

PD felt the pressure building inside, the creative juices flowing in earnest. It would be more than just a work of love for the group; it would be almost an act of worship.

_“We want to star in a short film. We’ve already got some ideas that we’ll send in an e-mail. Because…”_

PD sipped their cup of coffee, savoring the flavor before the long night ahead. There was no way they’d ever let the girls down.

_“Because we want to declare ourselves openly. No more hiding in plain sight. No more lies.”_

PD’s heart could hardly contain the plea felt in Chuu’s voice.

_“We want to confess to the world our love for each other.”_

***

Filming would take place in Seoul. Bringing LOONA to L.A. wasn’t really feasible, between the coronavirus outbreak and the fact that the whole project would be unsanctioned by the company. There was also the matter that not every member was on board, or even knew about it. But with live performances being shut down, and the city streets deserted, there was a cruel sort of opportunity for clandestine operations of this kind. And for LOONA, PD was certainly willing to take the personal risk.

They had finished the script on the long, excruciating flight over, a mostly deserted red eye. After settling into their hotel, PD had inspected the equipment, the set locations, and so forth, and now the scenes had been blocked and the girls had learned their lines. The only thing left to do was to schedule the shoots and perform them, a headache given the secrecy required. But PD was not at all fazed by the prospect.

Now the time had come, and everything and everyone were as ready as they were going to be. PD started the camera rolling and said, “Action.”

***

“I love you, 언니,” said Chuu.

Yves looked at her. She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look upset, either.

“I know you do. I love you, too.”

“But you don’t act like it. Not anymore.”

Chuu took Yves’s hand and held it against her chest.

“Can you feel it? My heart? It won’t let me keep living like this. It’ll explode.”

“I had no idea, 지우.”

Tears filled Chuu’s eyes. “Only you can save me, 언니.”

Fear passed over Yves like a shadow. She felt herself drawing back, then cast aside the darkness. She kissed Chuu, and her own tears mingled with her sweetheart’s.

“Nothing will keep us apart,” whispered Yves. A strange yearning sound emerged from Chuu’s throat, pitiful and hopeful all the same. She threw her arms around Yves, clinging desperately. Yves held her tight.

“Cut!” said PD. The girls came back to their senses, looking happy but a little astonished.

“We may not even need a second take,” admitted PD.

***

“I’ve missed you, 현진. I feel like we’ve been drifting apart.”

Hyunjin sighed. “I’ve felt that way, too.”

They were sitting together in a window sill. Heejin scooted closer, and they held hands.

“I’m worried about losing you.”

“Why? We share a bedroom.”

“But we don’t hang out anymore. We’re only in that room together to sleep. And we wouldn’t have any privacy in there regardless.”

“Privacy for what?” teased Hyunjin.

Heejin frowned. “You know what. Or you’d know if you weren’t spending all your free time with someone else.”

Hyunjin grew more serious. “Are you jealous of my friends? They’re your friends, too!”

“It’s not the same,” said Heejin. She became more defensive. “There’s really only one thing you can do to reassure me.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Kiss me. Like you mean it, with all your heart and soul.”

Hyunjin’s face grew pale, but she would not back away. She leaned in closer to Heejin, but before their lips could meet she turned aside, whispering in her ear.

“I’d marry you, if I could.”

PD struggled to remain professional in the light of such endearing sweetness.

***

“We’re soulmates,” said GoWon.

Olivia Hye nodded. “I know…”

“Why are you always so embarrassed to say it?”

They were sitting together on a couch.

“I’ve seen you admit it on camera,” continued GoWon. “Then you start to look reticent.”

“It’s because I don’t want anyone to misinterpret what I’m saying,” explained Olivia. But GoWon wasn’t having it.

“I know what Orbits have been saying about it. I don’t think they’re misinterpreting it at all.”

Olivia began to silently cry. “Why do you want to go and change everything between us? Weren’t you happy before?”

“I was happy. But then something grew inside of me. At first I thought it was just love, but it changed into something else. A void in my heart. One that can only be filled by you.”

Olivia shook her head. “I’m scared, 채원, so scared. I don’t want to do this.”

GoWon started to cry, too. “Do you want to hurt me?”

Olivia was shocked. “Goodness, no!”

“But that’s what you’re doing, 혜주. And I know you’re hurting yourself, too. You’ve got the same empty space inside that I’ve got.”

GoWon put her hand on Olivia’s chest. After a moment, Olivia took it and pressed it down harder.

“That feels good, 언니.”

“We’ll be alright, 혜주.”

As their lips touched tentatively, PD openly began to weep.

***

Shooting had wrapped, and PD sat waiting in their hotel room for the girls to show up. They were going to share the preliminary, rough edit, just so the girls could see how beautiful they looked even in the film’s raw form. In the end, they hadn’t really stuck to the script, either, so each pairing knew not just what had gone on in the others’ scenes. Final editing would have to wait upon PD’s return to L.A. the following evening.

There was a knock on the door, and PD got up to welcome in their guests. Their surprise was total when they saw who it was instead.

“Oh, hi. Uh, what are you doing here?”

“We heard from the others what you were doing for them, and we want in,” said Kim Lip. Choerry and JinSoul stood behind her, looking innocent.

PD blinked. “Well, I wish you would have said something sooner. Come in, let’s discuss it.”

They followed PD into the room, Kim Lip explaining, “I don’t know why they thought they couldn’t trust us. I mean, maybe we’re just that good at hiding our real selves, that we even fooled them.”

“Yeah,” said Choerry, laughing shrilly. PD closed the door, pausing in thought at the oddness of the situation.

“How did you find out about this, anyway?”

Kim Lip shrugged. “I can be very convincing when I want to be.”

This time, JinSoul laughed.

PD took up a standing position next to the television. The girls stood uncomfortably close.

“So, what can I do for you?”

“We want to see what you’ve got. Figure out if we can add anything to it.”

PD nodded. There was a sound from the table, from PD’s phone vibrating due to a text.

“Hold on a second.” PD picked up their phone and swiped, revealing the message.

“What the hell?”

It said four words: _You better watch out._

_“Get on the bed,”_ whispered Kim Lip, right in their ear. PD jumped like a rabbit.

“What are you—”

“Bitch, I will fucking kill you.” She held a butterfly knife up to PD’s neck. “Now get down on that fucking bed.”

PD did as Kim Lip said, more stunned than scared, for the moment. They saw that Choerry now brandished a small hammer, and JinSoul a baseball bat.

“What do you want?” PD asked.

“We can’t let you make that movie,” said Kim Lip.

“Don’t get us wrong,” said Choerry, “in another life we’d be glad to help, but there’s too much at stake to take such a risk.”

“The others were being selfish when they contacted you,” said JinSoul.

“How many copies are there right now?” asked Kim Lip, getting down to business.

PD was almost spazzing out. “What did you do to the others? Are they all right?”

Kim Lip snickered, then aggressively straddled PD, holding the butterfly knife up to their throat.

“I told you, I can be persuasive when I want to be.”

PD swallowed. Ordinarily they would be thrilled to be in this position, but they could see something wild in Kim Lip’s eyes. Something PD would be better off not crossing.

“There’s only one copy. It’s on my laptop.”

“You sure you didn’t send one home over the net?”

PD blinked. “No...”

Now Kim Lip laughed. “You’re such a bad liar.”

“정은,” said JinSoul, “maybe we should let PD go.”

“Yeah,” added Choerry, “we’re taking this too far. You’re kind of scaring me.”

Kim Lip looked at them with a mix of terror and fury. “You came this far, and you’re chickening out now? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with _you?”_ objected PD.

Kim Lip looked back down at them. “Nothing’s wrong with me. I just don’t want to throw my career away when it’s scarcely begun. We’re not like you. We’re not American, we can’t just come out and be who we are. We’ll be destroyed if we do that here.”

“You don’t know that!”

_“Yes I do!_ People have tried it in the past, and their companies have dropped them. It’s like they disappeared completely. Wearing a pride shirt is one thing; the only people brave enough here to live openly like that have been utter nobodies. Holland, Som Hein. They’ll never be accepted by the majority. They haven’t been built up, so they can’t fall down. They have nothing to lose. But we have _everything_ to lose!”

Tears flowed down Kim Lips face and stained PD’s shirt. It broke PD’s heart.

“You want me to destroy the film?”

Kim Lip nodded, but PD shook their head.

“I can’t do that. Not yet. Not without their permission. But there aren’t any plans to release it as of yet. But I think you should watch it first. So you can see what your friends put themselves through in making it.”

For a time, PD wasn’t sure if Kim Lip would actually slash open their throat. But eventually, JinSoul and Choerry managed to coax her off of them, and they agreed to watch. JinSoul sat on the bed next to PD, Choerry took a chair next to a table, and Kim Lip sat on the floor.

_Here goes nothing,_ thought PD as they hooked up their laptop to the television and hit ‘ _play’_ ,

***

After it ended, there was only silence. Then PD heard Kim Lip sobbing.

“It’s not fair,” she said. “They look so happy together.”

“Why isn’t that fair?” asked PD. “Can’t you be happy with someone, too?”

Kim Lip looked up at PD. Her eyes were pink, stained in sorrow.

“Happy with who? There are twelve of us, but I can’t find love.”

“That’s not true,” said PD.

“No, it is true,” said JinSoul. “She’s been rejected by everyone else. And it’s really difficult to find someone outside your own company. We’re being watched more closely than ever. It’s only because of the virus that we were able to sneak around and creep on you guys.”

PD thought about this. “Then…what about you two, and her?”

JinSoul got a wistful look on her face that was matched by Choerry.

“Sorry. My heart belongs to 최 예림.”

At this, Kim Lip made a desperate sort of gasping sound. PD looked down at her and was unnerved by the way she was stroking the butterfly knife.

“정은, don’t—”

Kim Lip looked up at him again, this time almost petulantly. She closed the butterfly knife and tossed it aside.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to do it.”

“But you were thinking about it.”

“What, you can read my mind?”

“I can read body language.”

She scoffed at them.

“정은,” said JinSoul, “you’re frightening us.”

Kim Lip could only pout.

***

There was a knock on the door, and JinSoul got up to see who it was. She came back presently with Chuu and Yves in tow.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” began Chuu, but her face fell when she saw Kim Lip sitting on the floor.

“What did she do to you?” asked PD, with trepidation.

“She picked her pocket,” answered Yves, “and hid her phone really well. It took us forever to find it, and she was the only one with your contact info.”

Chuu fell to her knees in front of Kim Lip.

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to lash out.”

“Yes I do,” said Kim Lip. “It’s the only thing that keeps the pain at bay.”

Yves joined Chuu on the floor. “We can help you. You just have to trust us.”

“But you can’t give me what I really want.”

Chuu shrugged and looked over her shoulder at Yves. “Maybe we can. Shall we try it?”

Yves reached out her hand to Kim Lip. Their fingers touched.

“You know, maybe my hotel room isn’t the best place for this,” piped up PD. Everyone laughed sheepishly. The girls prepared to leave, and PD made promises to them to discuss things further. Kim Lip still wasn’t willing to declare herself openly, not yet, but when that day came everything would be ready.

By that time, PD knew Kim Lip wouldn’t be alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching PD's "1 in 10,000" (which I haven't finished yet) and have also been watching lots of videos of LOONA on assorted shows, and I got it in my head to put them together in a fanfic! I knocked this out in about 4 hours, too. I'm actually working on a longer story starring April, but had to take a break to scribble this idea down. Also, a soldier brought the coronavirus to within about 2 miles of my apartment, which means my village is about to be infected. So that sucks. But since my April story is partly about the disease (for angst reasons) it's also weirdly fitting.


End file.
